How to Change Telling into Showing by Jessica Bell, Author of Show and Tell in a Nutshell

When I first started to write fiction and send my manuscripts out for feedback, the first and most frequent thing my readers said was SHOW, DON’T TELL.

“Okay. So how do I go about that?” I thought. “I’m not sure I understand how you can’t see it happening when I’m telling you it’s happening. What’s the difference?”

After years and years honing the craft of the elusive “show, don’t tell” rule, I thought it would be a good idea to write a book that helped YOU do the same.

Here’s a scene that is completely telling:

Tamara and Fran are having lunch at a café. They are seated outdoors. But it seems useless meeting at all when Fran is so flighty. It’s ridiculously frustrating talking to Fran when she’s like this—off in her own little world. She doesn’t even acknowledge what’s being said when Tamara raises her voice! Perhaps she’s in love.

Okay, can you identify which things we could be showing here?

What I think we can show here are the following attributes:

flightiness

frustration

(be) in love

self-importance

So with this in mind, let’s bring this scene to life with some showing:

“Can you pass the salt?” Tamara holds out her hand.

“Hmm?” Fran hums and looks across the road at the kids playing Frisbee.

“Hun? The salt.” Tamara glances at the kids, screws up her nose, and contorts her mouth to the left.

“Oh. Right.” Fran passes the ketchup.

Tamara groans and reaches across the table for the salt. As she leans over her plate, her blouse dips into the mayonnaise.

“Crap! I need a serviette.” Tamara points at the napkin holder. Francine is resting her chin in her palm, squinting at the sky, giggling to herself.

Christ.

“Fran!” Tamara bangs her fist on the table. Crockery rattles.

Fran’s smile fades as she jolts upright. “Huh? What’s wrong?”

Tamara stands, scrapes her seat backward, reaches for a serviette, and shakes her head. “I can’t count on you for even the simplest of things, can I?”

Francine blinks.

Tamara dips a serviette into her glass of soda and rubs it on her breast. “So. Who’s the guy?”

“Tammie?” Francine sighs. “Have you ever wondered why we only see yellow butterflies in this area of town?”

What do you think? Would you have written something similar? Can you pinpoint how I’ve shown these specific attributes? Tell me in the comments.

Biography:

If Jessica Bell could choose only one creative mentor, she’d give the role to Euterpe, the Greek muse of music and lyrics. This is not only because she currently resides in Athens, Greece, but because of her life as a thirty-something Australian-native contemporary fiction author, poet and singer/songwriter/guitarist, whose literary inspiration often stems from songs she’s written.

Jessica is the Co-Publishing Editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal and annually runs the Homeric Writers’ Retreat & Workshop on the Greek island of Ithaca. She makes a living as a writer/editor for English Language Teaching Publishers worldwide, such as Pearson Education, HarperCollins, MacMillan Education, Education First and Cengage Learning.

Buy Now @ Amazon

Genre – Non-Fiction / Writing Skills Reference

Rating – PG

More details about the author & the book

Connect with Jessica Bell on Facebook &  Twitter

Blog http://thealliterativeallomorph.blogspot.com/

Excerpt from EYE OF THE SOUL by Terri Rochenski

Eye of the Soul (Pool of Souls #1)

Adult Fantasy

Release Date: October 7, 2013

Blurb:

Escape.

That should be Hyla’s first thought as her people are chained and imprisoned for no imaginable reason. 

Instead, Hyla finds herself traveling through a land void of Natives, with human soldiers pillaging in desperate pursuit of her, and in search of the mystical Pool of Souls—home to the one man who can save her people. 

Or so she believes. 

Led by her faith in the deity Fadir, Hyla is met along her journey by Jadon—a human male and fierce King’s warrior, and his childhood best friend Conlin—one of the few Natives aware of his Fadir-given Talents. 

Protected by Jadon, guided by Conlin, and with an unfailing belief in the purpose of her pilgrimage, Hyla carries on. 

Like her, though, another searches for the Pool, and should he gain access first, everyone she loves, and everything she knows, could be lost. 

Forever.

Excerpt:

Cursing her arthritic fingers, Miri squeezed out a rag and draped it over the human man's hot forehead.

“I’ve seen a lot more harvests than you, old goat,” she muttered, lifting his eyelids. “I’m thinking you’ll never catch up either. Doubt you last another half-moon’s phase.”

Miri pushed to her feet and stretched her hunched back. A heavy sigh slipped past her wrinkled lips as she glanced around the sick house. Keeping the night watch wasn’t too bad—she’d volunteered often since her old bones wouldn’t allow much sleep.

“Joints wasted, hearing all but gone …” Miri yanked on the long white braid lying over her shoulder. “I’m the old goat.”

She shuffled down the aisle, woolen kirtle swishing in the silence. A cool, autumn breeze rustled the crimson leaves of the magnolia and palm fronds overhead, drawing her gaze upward. Violet streaks lit the pre-dawn sky.

A dog barked, yipped, and fell silent.

Miri peered across the village green to the thatched buildings beyond. A shadow passed between two cottages. Another three hurried toward the neighboring dwelling.

“Sight fading or my mind, too?” Miri rubbed her watery eyes, blinked, and leaned forward. Light flickered through the palm trees behind the outlying homes.

Torches?

The flames drew closer, weaving between the trunks.

Humans from the mainland? Miri’s hand clutched at her throat. Soldiers. Fadir have mercy.

The men crept through the village, taking up positions at every doorway. Two brutes, more horse-like in size than human, approached the sick house. Sputtering torch held high, the first strode forward, dark eyes intent upon Miri. A green surcoat covered broad shoulders and fell to his thighs. The golden wheat sheaf of the city of Varosh adorned his chest.

Cold sweat beaded upon Miri’s brow. Breath burst from her lungs, and she moved back, clutching the door jam.

The second soldier stepped closer, chains and shackles clanking in his hand. He stopped two paces away from Miri, and a smile stretched his stubbled cheeks, revealing rotted teeth. “Good morning pointy-ears.”

Miri stared, heartbeat thundering in her ears. She’d been called worse in her eighty-three birth passings but never with such malice.

A single cry rang out across the village, and doors crashed inward. Screams rent the air.

“Don’t fight Native woman,” rotten-teeth sneered, shackles outstretched.

“W-why?” Miri whispered, taking a step backward.

A scowl narrowed his gaze, and his fist shot forward.

Bursts of light and pain exploded through Miri as she crumpled to the floor.

Link to Goodreads:  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17156372-eye-of-the-soul

Cover Reveal - Cassie Mae's HOW TO DATE A NERD

I know some of you have already seen the awesomeness that is my cover for HOW TO DATE A NERD, but this is the official reveal, so pretend it's the first time you're seeing it, ha!

And yes, I came off really braggy, but I love this cover so much. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect one.

Okay, and if you are reading my babbles here instead of just scrolling to the cover, I know most of you have followed my journey with HOW TO DATE A NERD and know just how big a deal this is for me to get it out there to everyone. It's scheduled right now for a September release, and here's to hoping I don't lose my mind waiting :) And I want to thank all of you for the support you've shown me in the past two years since I started blogging. Nerd wouldn't have been queried, wouldn't have even been written without my bloggy buddies and their support. So THANK YOU! This is the one that started it all :)

Here's the blurby thinger and my author stuff. :)

Zoe has a great pair of legs, perky boobs, and wears exactly what she needs to show it all off. She works hard for the easy sleazy ‘you only wish you were me’ reputation, burying who she really is—an all-out nerd.

The only time Zoe gets to be herself is when she hides under her comforter to read X-Men comics, sending jealousy stabs at everyone who attends Comic-Con. Keeping up her popular rep is too important, and she’s so damn insecure to care about the consequences. But when Zoe’s sister takes her car for a ‘crash and burn into a tree’ joyride, her parents get her a replacement. A manual. Something she doesn’t know how to operate, but her next door neighbor Zak sure as heck does.

Zak’s a geek to the core, shunned by everyone in school for playing Dungeons and Dragons at lunch and wearing “Use the Force” t-shirts. And Zoe’s got it bad for the boy. Only Zak doesn’t want Popular Zoe. He wants Geek Zoe.

She has to shove her insecurities and the fear of dropping a few rungs on the social ladder aside to prove to Zak who she really is and who she wants to be… if she can figure it out herself.

Cassie Mae is a nerd to the core from Utah, who likes to write about other nerds who find love. She’s the author of the Amazon Bestseller REASONS I FELL FOR THE FUNNY FAT FRIEND, and is the debut author for the Random House FLIRT line with her New Adult novels FRIDAY NIGHT ALIBI and PULLING THE SWITCH. She also has a three book deal with Swoon Romance Publishing, including her book HOW TO DATE A NERD. She spends her time with her angel children and perfect husband who fan her and feed her grapes while she clacks away on the keyboard. Then she wakes up from that dream world and manages to get a few words on the computer while the house explodes around her. When she’s not writing, she’s spending time with the youth in her community as a volleyball and basketball coach, or searching the house desperately for chocolate.

And now, the reveal. *plays dramatic music*

 

*squee!*

Spell for you guys today (because I'm just so happy!)

EXPECTO PATRONUM!

Interview with Donna K. Weaver, Author of A Change of Plans

Today, faithful blog readers, we have the wonderful Donna K. Weaver for an interview. Welcome, Donna!

How did you come up with the title A Change of Plans?

I never knew coming up with a title could be so hard. It took me a year after I wrote the dang book. That challenge is that there are three distinct parts to A Change of Plans and I didn’t know which one to focus on for a title. I fully expected my publisher to choose a new one, but they said they liked it.

Sometimes titles are so easy, sometimes not. Glad your publisher liked A Change of Plans! Is there a message in A Change of Plans that you want readers to grasp?

Maybe that life can still be good even when you go through really bad experiences. That while those bad things impact you, you mustn’t let them define you.

Very nice. What book are you reading now?

I’m a huge Brandon Sanderson fan, and I’m listening to his The Rithmatist.

What are your current projects?

I’m editing a companion novel to A Change of Plans, staring one of the secondary male characters. It’s funny because I almost wrote him out but realized I’d come to love him too much—and that not only was I going to keep him in but I needed to tell his story.

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

Getting Part 2 right. Some of it was trying to find the right approach. I wasn’t into telling a raunchy story about a man and a woman marooned on an island, but making it a how-to survival story wasn’t quite right either. Hopefully, between me and my editors, we got it right.

How long does it take you to write a book?

First draft? I’m fast. My first drafts are really a very long outline—that’s why I love the NaNoWriMo experience. I wrote 80,000 words for A Change of Plans in 30 days and the companion novel in 18. Of course, that first edit is when I do my real writing. That definitely takes longer. I can only compare it to painting. An artist preparing a canvass will do some rough sketches to put all the elements in their places. It’s only later that s/he will add the colors and texture and shading. That’s what I do with my editing.

I tend to write the same way so I know what you mean exactly! Time for some fun questions. If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?

Someone thin and gorgeous. Wouldn’t hurt if she could act, too.

LOL! If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money?

This is easy. I have a daughter (and 4 grandchildren) living on Kauai. I would quit my day job and go live with them. I’d have enough money to pay for medical insurance. 

Thanks for dropping by! Readers, at the bottom of the post is a giveaway so be sure to enter!

When Lyn sets off on her supposedly uncomplicated and unromantic cruise, she never dreams it will include pirates. All the 25-year-old, Colorado high school teacher wants to do is forget that her dead fiancé was a cheating scumbag. Lyn plans a vacation diversion; fate provides Braedon, an intriguing surgeon. She finds herself drawn to him: his gentle humor, his love of music, and even his willingness to let her take him down during morning karate practices. Against the backdrop of the ship's make-believe world and temporary friendships, her emotions come alive.

However, fear is an emotion, too. Unaware of the sensitive waters he's navigating, Braedon moves to take their relationship beyond friendship--on the very anniversary Lyn is on the cruise to forget. Lyn's painful memories are too powerful, and she runs from Braedon and what he has to offer.

Their confusing relationship is bad enough, but when the pair finds themselves on one of the cruise's snorkeling excursions in American Samoa things get worse. Paradise turns to piracy when their party is kidnapped and Lyn's fear of a fairytale turns grim. Now she must fight alongside the man she rejected, first for their freedom and then against storms, sharks, and shipwreck.

Find it: Amazon | B&N | Goodreads | Rhemalda Store

What people are saying about A CHANGE OF PLANS...

"A Change of Plans will keep readers up way too late in this fast-paced tale of love lost and found again." ~Melanie Jacobson, author of The List, Not My Type, Twitterpated, and Smart Move

"A Change of Plans is lots of romance sprinkled with pirates, shipwreck and adventure. Donna Weaver spins a tale that you will fall in love with, think about for days afterward, and then go back and read again. I laughed, I cried, and I couldn't put it down." ~Betsy Love author of Identity and Soulfire

"A captivating tale of love, grief, and hope that will tug at your heartstrings until the very end." ~Laura Josephson, author of the Rising series and Confessions from the Realm of the Underworld

"When someone says pirates and novel in the same sentence, I usually say, "Thanks, but no." Not in this case. Ms. Weaver brings a warm humor to her story of romance, travel and overcoming skeletons in one's past with her vivid characters and delightful scenes." ~Shaunna Gonzales, author of Dark Days of Promise

Donna K. Weaver has always loved reading and creating stories, thus she’s been ever entertained. A Navy brat and U.S. Army veteran, she’s lived in many U.S. states as well as South Korea, the Philippines, and Germany. An avid cruiser, she’s sailed the Pacific four times. When she retired from Shorei Kempo Karate with a black belt, she decided it was time to put her imaginary friends and places on paper. She lives in Utah with her husband. They have six children and eight grandchildren.

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Cover Reveal - Skin Deep by Megan D. Martin

Title:  Skin Deep
Author:  Megan D. Martin

Series:  #1 of The Eternal Forces

Genre: New Adult Paranormal Romance
Publisher:  Dragonfairy Press
Expected Release Date:   Fall 2013

What would you do to have the body of your dreams?

Kiera hates being overweight and hides behind thick layers of clothing. One night, her friends present an opportunity that seems impossible to believe. With a single spell, she can have the thin physique she's always coveted.

But all magic comes with a price: no sex or she'll revert back to her old body. Kiera accepts the cost. It's not like she has men lined up at her door. Obeying this one tiny rule isn't difficult at all—until the night she meets Cain, a were-tiger and a soldier with the Eternal Forces.

When a slew of unexplained murders forces Kiera and Cain together, they'll have to face the horrors of their pasts. Will Kiera realize she is worth more than her outward appearance? Or will she make the wrong the choice and lose everything—including her life?

About the Author

Megan D. Martin is a multi-published author, mother, student and editor. In her spare time she enjoys decorating her house with strange things that do not match, playing her old school Nintendo Entertainment System, and buying fish for her many fish tanks.

You can find Megan on pretty much every social networking site that exists.

Blog: http://www.MeganDMartin.blogspot.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authormegandmartin

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Megan_D_Martin

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6656963.Megan_D_Martin

Google+: https://plus.google.com/115096823539939478098/posts

Instagram: http://instagram.com/meeegann

Vine: Meeegann

Giveaway Info

$15 Amazon GC

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